It’s Sunday. I guess it’s time to confess.
I don’t know why I just said that. I’m not Catholic. Are there certain days to go to confession or is it just whenever you think you need to go? Never mind, I digress.
OK, back to my slacker mom confessions.
Hopefully this will make you feel better about your own mothering skills.
– My 3 year old still has a pacifier (one might even be hot pink & green). I have no plans on trying to take it away anytime soon. And I’m totally OK with that.
Bonus: he has a purple camo one too!
– My dog peed on my daughter’s pillow the other night. I thought it was water at first until it dried yellow the next day. When I realized what it really was, I didn’t say anything and let her sleep on it again.
– I change little man poops everyday. They’re not so little, actually. Translation: I haven’t attempted to potty train that 3 year old I mentioned before. You know, the one that still sucks on a paci? yeah, him. He poops his pants. Every day. Sometimes twice a day, if I’m lucky.
– I have fed my kids fast food every day this last week. Probably longer than a week, but if I told you that, you would be too grossed out, so I won’t. If you are what you eat…. we’d all be Taco Bell bean burritos (without onions, of course).
Now brace yourself for this one, especially if you’re one that goes by the American Pediatrics handbook or whatever it’s called….
– That same 3 year old, well, yeah, um….he still drinks from a bottle. I figure if moms are nursing their 4 year old kids, I still got one more year.
Does that make you feel like a rock star? It should.
Oh, and I let said 3 year old play with hacksaws. Just for kicks.
Whew. That felt better. Now I just need a hail Mary, or is it a bloody mary?
I don’t know. Whatever.