I don’t want to move.

We’re “supposed to” move next weekend.

I say “supposed to” because I have done absolutely nothing to start this process.

Like nothing. Zero. Zip. Zilch.

moving boxes

I woke up today (after a stupid sleepless night) and reality hit. Not the reality that I have to pack up my house full of crap, but the reality that I am going to be moving away from here.

I got sad. Really sad. So I took my sad self over to Sally’s and I sat in her big red chair and cried and said things like “I don’t want to leave,” “I don’t want to move,” “wa-wa-wa.” And she said she doesn’t want to talk about it cause it will make her sad. This stinks.

I don’t want to move. I don’t want to start over. I don’t want to learn a new city and navigate new streets. I don’t want to have to put on a happy face when my kids are sad and miss this home and tell them it’ll be Okay when all I will really want to do is pack us up and move back here.

Maybe I’m feeling this way because I’ve done it before and I know what it’s like. I know the challenges. I know the wave of emotions (from myself and my kids). I’m going to have to smile and make new friends even if I don’t feel like it. I’m going to have to step out of my comfort zone and be an example for my children. I don’t want to do that, but I will. Cause that’s what moms do.

So, yeah. I don’t want to move.

I would rather cross my arms and stomp my feet and pout.

Because I’m mature like that. (hey, don’t judge.)

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11 Responses to I don’t want to move.

  1. Debra Reichard says:

    I have to move in a few weeks and I feel the same way. I’ve moved for my husbands work 7 times cross country. Most of them were without children but the last 2 the kids were little. Now they are teenagers. I don’t want to move for all the reasons you stated. He has been living on the East Coast since November. It’s been a strain. arrrghhhh

  2. Leslie Howe says:

    Sorry you have to move. And I know people try to say something encouraging like what kind of doors will open for you and what wonderful new opportunities may be waiting for you in the next step in your journey, but you already know all that. Moving sucks. So just allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling. Experience the feeling, acknowledge it, and then move on when you’re ready.
    Leslie Howe recently posted..Bizarre Things No Wedding Planner Ever Wants To HearMy Profile

  3. Kristin says:

    Tantrum. Just do it. You’ll feel better!

  4. Julie says:

    What? Next weekend already? Good news is you get to be together though, right? No more of this “holy crap, I’m going to blow a gasket with the kids and everything going on if one more child asks for something while I’m busy doing this and I’ve got a..n..o…ther week until he comes home? Ugh, this just plain sucks!” Yeah…
    Packing – just be ruthless! Tell the kids you need their help, you’re getting rid of 1/3 of your stuff and you’re just going to start throwing stuff out if they don’t. Moving will always suck and no matter how many times you’ve done it you’ll never feel and be ready. Getting comfortable in those new shoes can be just as crappy, if not more so. Is 5 months too long to do the “I’m putting on the happy, it’s OK this is a gReAt new place and we’ll be here a long time face?” If so, I’m screwed. Hang in there! It’s a new adventure regardless if you like it or not, life will move on and I’m sure you’ll find the strength to make it all work. I believe in you Amber!

  5. Judy says:

    Amber:
    First —- you will never be alone. You have your family plus all of us out around the world who have got your back.
    Second— imagine what fun things you will discover when you pack. When I inherited my mother’s piano and it was moved and I had it tuned ( for the first time in 30 years) the guy found tinker toys and stuff inside!
    Finally– you are stronger and braver and more amazing than you think .
    So… Go with the flow and keep us posted!!!

  6. Sally Peterson says:

    Boo. I’m with you. I don’t want you to move either.

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