I could write a detailed post about why, but honestly, I don’t feel like it and even if I did, I don’t think I would publish it.
I know there is a fine line between being honest & authentic and then just being a Debbie Downer. I really don’t want to be the latter, but wanted to give a little explanation…for my few faithful readers;)… and then move on.
So, let’s just say that about 8 weeks ago, I hit a few roadblocks. Most people would probably recover, but for me, it kind of sent me into a tailspin. I got pretty down. As in, I wanted to crawl into a dark hole and remove myself from life for a while.
And… I kinda did just that. Well, not completely… I have four little people I’m responsible for, remember?
Falling into this pit always brings out my fears, my doubts and in turn, my insecurities surface. I questioned this whole blogging thing: this is stupid, silly, pointless, why am I even doing this?
I didn’t feel adequate to write, because I didn’t think I had anything worth saying. I had posts scheduled and told people I would, but failed to publish them.
I froze and felt paralyzed.
Maybe no one will notice if I just don’t show up anymore.
But, some of you did.*
I made a poor attempt to “stay connected” on social media, but it was mostly because I was afraid of being forgotten. (Ironic, right? Man, I am a piece of work!)
Last week, I had a
breakdown breakthrough. I think it’s what I needed to get me over the hump and back into reality. I’m hoping to get back to writing consistently. I realized how I much I missed it.
So there it is… I have down days, like really down days. And weeks. And sometimes even months.
And for those who struggle with this too… you are not alone! Call me and we can hang out in our pits together ;)
But like all the times before, I eventually find my way out.
So here I am, again… and let’s hope this is Miss Debbie Downer’s last appearance on this little bliggity blog (but I can’t make any promises).
*I want to thank those of you who noticed my absence and told me. It means a lot. For reals.
Okay, glad I got that out of the way. Now, let’s move on… see you tomorrow :)