I was going to write a big long post about something medical related. But sadly, I did not have time and am now trying to type this out as fast as I can so I can hang with my husband who is going to be leaving this afternoon to head back to his home away from home. And just realized that I won’t see him for 3 weeks thanks to weekend calls and conferences!
Anyway, in the last week, I have received a few emails from some new med student spouses and resident spouses. They somehow stumbled upon The Unconventional Doctor’s Wife blog here. Yay! and Welcome!
These emails were all so sweet but they also all expressed some sort of sadness. Either they had just moved to a new city and didn’t know anyone yet, were lonely because their husband was working so much, or just felt as if no one really understood their circumstances.
My heart broke for each of them! I cried each time I read one. (I’m totally serious here. I either blame my period or the fact that I have been off my happy pills too long…or both)
I know exactly what all of that feels like. I have been there! And for anyone reading this who might be in that situation, please know that you are not alone. Yes, physically you may not have anyone near who understands, but there are so many of us who have been where you are!
I want to reach through the computer screen and hug each of you who are just beginning on this journey, med school or residency. Well, really, just hug anyone on this journey!
There are always good months and bad months throughout all the years of training. And it doesn’t matter how “seasoned” you are…when those bad rotations come around, they still are freakin’ hard.
I know the sacrifices you have made so your husband can pursue and following this path. And I understand that even though you know he is doing what he is called to do, it still doesn’t make it any easier on you.
Family and friends will always ask you about how he is doing. Strangers will be impressed when you answer their question about what your husband does.
Sometimes it doesn’t feel fair. And it’s not.
Sometimes it doesn’t seem like what you do matters.
Most of the time it feels like it’s all about him.
But you need to know something. This something is very important. And you must never forget it.
What you have done, what you do, who you are… MATTERS.
Yes, you matter.
The sacrifices you have made…matter.
The loneliness you feel…matters.
You, beautiful girl…matter.
So please don’t ever feel second rate to this doctor man you married. What you do and who you are, are just as important as what he is doing.
And if ever you are feeling really lonely or just want to vent or want to hear someone tell you that you are strong and will make it through this next month, please please please connect with me! Send me an email, holler at me on Twitter (@AmberZaccagni) or connect on Facebook at The Unconventional Doctor’s Wife!
I promise you I will respond! I don’t want anyone to feel like they are alone on this crazy medical journey!
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