Be Brave, Be Awesome, Be You

Posted on May 18, 2013 by Amber

I received a Facebook message from a friend about a week ago. She posted a link to a song/video and said she thought of me and my daughters when she watched it. That “it reminded me of your blog and the courage that you have to be authentic and speak your truth.”

I was curious to see what this video was about but didn’t have time to watch it…until today.

I was laughing when it started, cause it’s awesome, and then the lyrics came. And I cried.

Cause by now you should know I cry about everything…happy things, sad things, overwhelming things (like at the beginning of big sporting events when they play loud music and the players are announced and everyone is cheering…yeah, I’m the weirdo crying in the stands). And don’t get me started on my kids.

So anyway, back to the video…these were happy tears.

Because there was a time when I would have been that person dancing in the street like a fool. I would have been the first to volunteer. Seriously. But then something happened. And I no longer was that person. And I was stuck in a sad and lonely place for a long time.

A few years back, the girls were dancing in the family room. HJ and I were on the couch. He asked me why I never danced anymore. I shrugged. He kept telling me to get up and dance with the girls. That it would be fun.

And so I tried. But it was strange and awkward. I didn’t know how to move. I felt like I wasn’t even in my own body.

Fast forward to today…I may not be the first one to volunteer to go dancing by myself in the street, but you could probably talk me into it. At home though, I am as goofy and crazy (fun crazy – just to clarify) as I ever was.

As I watched this video, I thought about my kids. I pray my kids grow to have the confidence to be themselves, the awesome people they were created to be. To dance in the street…even if no one else is. Even when being themselves is lonely or difficult. I want them to be brave.

I haven’t felt very brave lately. Especially here on this blog. But this gave me encouragement. It reminded me to be myself even if it’s lonely and difficult and I make a complete fool out of myself. It reminded me to speak up and speak my truth. So thank you, sweet friend, for thinking of me!

BG be you anyway

And for you too, yes you, reading this right now. Be brave, be awesome, but mostly, just be you!

Now…let’s go dance!

For some reason, I can’t get the video to show up here, so click the link to go watch it. It will make you smile…i promise. It’s by Sara Bareilles and it’s called BRAVE. Lyrics are below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUQsqBqxoR4&list=UUeorj4gQq9KLidnoC-XCbCQ&index=2

You can be amazing
You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug
You can be the outcast
Or be the backlash of somebody’s lack of love
Or you can start speaking up
Nothing’s gonna hurt you the way that words do
And they settle ‘neath your skin
Kept on the inside and no sunlight
Sometimes a shadow wins
But I wonder what would happen if you
 
Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
 
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave
 
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave
 
Everybody’s been there, everybody’s been stared down
By the enemy
Fallen for the fear and done some disappearing
Bow down to the mighty
Don’t run, stop holding your tongue
Maybe there’s a way out of the cage where you live
Maybe one of these days you can let the light in
Show me how big your brave is
Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
 
With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
 
Innocence, your history of silence
Won’t do you any good
Did you think it would?
Let your words be anything but empty
Why don’t you tell them the truth?
 
Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
 
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave
Posted in Encouragement, Mom Life, Stuck-in-a-funk{y} Life | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments

on becoming a morning person

Posted on May 15, 2013 by Amber

I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned before how I am not a morning person. I tend to do the whole night owl thing. It’s been that way for as long as I can remember.

Well, things are a changing. Or at least I’m trying.

#mymorningmop

Since the kids and I have moved down to Alabama, we have all been super lazy. We don’t have school to get up for, we don’t have any activities to go to, no appointments, no nothing. And I am the least self-motivated person around. So yeah, we stay up late and sleep in and stay in PJs way too long. It’s been good. But it’s time to change.

It has been a dream of HJ’s that we would wake up together. That we would sit on the porch together and drink coffee (I don’t, he does) before the chaos ensues kids get up. I even put this on my Omega List.

Well after listening to Michael Hyatt’s podcast on How to Become a Morning Person, it got me thinking. One of the first thing he says is that he doesn’t believe we are naturally morning people or night people. He believes we can be whatever we want. We get to choose.

Hmmm…. Maybe I could do this. Maybe I could become a morning person too. And so with that, I thought I’d give it a shot.

So, today is day 3. The third day I have woken up before the kids. The third day my alarm has rung and I didn’t turn it off and roll over. The third day I have showered. Before noon.

Today was the hardest since HJ was on call last night and so wasn’t here to push me out of the bed lovingly encourage me to get up. But I did it. Pat on the back for me.

And honestly, it’s been really nice. Actually getting up and dressed before the kids. I think the kids are enjoying it too. No more Super Grumpy Mom. Now they just get Grumpy Mom. Hopefully soon they’ll just get Mom. And if they’re lucky, maybe one day they’ll wake up to Happy Mom. One can dream, right?

Here are a few tips in the podcast that I have been implementing to help this routine (their are 10 tips on the podcast, these are just the ones I have found to be critical for me):

1) Put the alarm across the room. Yeah, I’m not a fan, but it really does get you out of bed. Duh.

2) Turn ALL the lights ON. I’m not a fan of this either. I like to slowly wake up. It reminds me when I was growing up how my mom used to march into my room (uninvited I might add) and open my curtains. I hated that so much. She thought it was hilarious.

3) Make the bed right away. This is a very critical step for me. You see, I love to sneak back into bed after I take my shower (if it’s before noon). Warm in my robe with my hair twisted into a towel, I crawl back into my cozy bed. I swear I hear it calling my name…that’s the only reason I do it.

4) Go to bed early. The end.

Are you a morning person? What helps get you going in the morning?

 

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Posted in Confessions, My Life | Tagged , , | 5 Comments

I’m sorry, you got me what for Mother’s Day?

Posted on May 10, 2013 by Amber

I’m not a huge fan of Mother’s Day. Or Father’s Day. And don’t get me started on Valentine’s Day.

So the other morning when HJ tells me he got me something for Mother’s Day, my first reaction was “why? I don’t want anything” and then “Why are you telling me this? Are you going to give it to me right now?”

Well, not exactly. I haven’t bought it yet. 

So why are you telling me you got me something if you don’t have it already?

Well, I wanted to see if you’d be on board with it.

On board with it? I didn’t quite understand. It’s not some sort of jewelry is it? My silver hoops from Target and my wedding ring are all I need. I know…lame, but it’s me.

No.

Is it something I can wear? (cause honestly, I thought that would actually be awesome since I threw out almost everything in my closet last week).

No. You don’t wear it. 

What? I was confused. So if it’s not jewelry and not clothes…and then it dawned on me….is it something for someone else? 

Yes!

Have you ever received one of those cards at Christmas that say someone bought you a goat or a duck instead of a present? And you’re like what? A duck? Gee, thanks.  (You know it’s for a good cause, but it doesn’t really connect.) Yeah, I kinda felt that.

And then he got all excited, pulled out his computer and started talking…

I was listening to the Wally Show the other morning (this is on a Christian radio station…yes, we are cool like that and listen to Christian radio – don’t hate) and he was talking about Blood:Water Mission & about these water filters they make in Zambia.

Oh yeah. I just watched a You Tube video about it yesterday. Aren’t they $80 or something? Trying to convince him that was too much money to spend (yes, I’m embarrassed to admit that!).

Yeah. I thought you’d be excited about it. It’s something you would do. 

Um, I guess you’re right.

And then he got really pumped… Amber, this filter will give a family clean water for 20 years. 20 years!! Can you believe that?! We take water for granted. I mean, it never even crosses our minds. If they want water, they have to walk 2 miles to get it. I just walked into the kitchen this morning to get you water! And ours is clean! And we can get it whenever we want. Theirs is nasty. And it makes them sick! It’s just crazy. (I didn’t make any of that up, he totally said it. For reals.)

For the last few years, this guy has heard me talk about organizations & causes like these, seen me shed tears over these things, and even helped me clear out my closet after he watched me reach my goal ($1245!) for my Purpose Project with The Mocha Club.

And now he totally gets it! He’s on board! He realized how just one person really can make a difference! This guy knows my heart. And really, this is the perfect gift for me. But still, as hard as it is to admit, initially my selfish me was like What? $85 dollars on a water filter…for someone else? But I really wanted this belt.

But after watching this video (look at those sweet kids!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZRArpTdGvU

and seeing these pictures

one drop kids

and thinking about a mama holding her baby who was sick because there wasn’t access to clean water….

…there wasn’t even a question.

OK, let’s buy me a biosand filter! Happy Mother’s Day to me!

wallyonedropbanner

There’s still time to buy one too. For you? For your mom? For a family in Zambia?

Let’s do this!

 

Posted in Marriage, Mom Life, Unconventional Life | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

my poor pill popping skills

Posted on May 7, 2013 by Amber

Some say doctor’s make the worst patients.

Well, I beg to differ. I think maybe doctor’s wives do. OK, maybe that’s just the case for moi.

Well hold on a second…. It’s not so much the going to see the doctor thing that I’m so bad at. I have no problem there.  It’s when they prescribe me something, I seem to fail miserably.

pink cross

You see, I have a couple of medications I (am supposed to) take daily.

One to help with my allergies.

One to help me stay focused (though that is nearly impossible when you have 4 kids and a dog at home all the time!).

And one to keep me sane…or happy…or not depressed…or really just be able to function each day. You get the idea.

Well, apparently those medications {that super smart people discovered and/or concocted} really do work… but only… and here’s the kicker…

if you take them.

And therein lies my problem.

Taking them. Consistently. Like every day.

Because apparently if you do that – they work. Ha! Imagine that! And if you don’t take them, then, um they don’t work. Kinda like birth control pills, right? Yeah. Learned that lesson the hard way 11 years ago. But we like to call that a “blessing” not an oopsie ;)

You know, there is this funny thing that happens when you take medicine correctly to help with your ailments. Typically, you feel better. And duh, you are better… because you are taking them.

But I seem to forget this little fact. I forget it with every one of those medications I {am supposed to} take.

I no longer am sneezing or have an itchy throat?  Woo hoo! I’m healed! And I quit.

I feel I have life in order and under control? Sweet! I’m all better! And I quit.

I feel as though I am happy and doing well? Ah yeah…It’s all good! And I quit.

(Or honestly, sometimes I just forget to take them.)

But then….

Bam! I’m back to square one.

It’s like taking one step forward and 28 steps back. You know, as smart as I am (shut-up, no sarcastic comments!), I struggle with this.  I know about this stupid cycle, yet, I let myself slip up over and over again.

Apparently I thought I was miraculously healed a while back. News flash: No healing!!!…I was just actually following the directions and taking my meds like I was supposed to. But, silly me…I was fooled (once again) and so I stopped popping those little pills.

Maybe that’s why this blog has been silent for so long. I tend to retreat (you know, like most people do when they’re depressed, yeah me too). I let doubt, fear, and insecurity take over. Plus, I’ve been sneezing a lot. That is probably the main reason why I’ve been gone, stupid allergies ;)

But I’m showing up today. And hopefully I’ll show up tomorrow. And the next day and the next. It’s a process, a daily battle.

Anyone else struggle with this little cycle – taking your meds, feeling better, then quitting? Anyone else just plain forget to take your medicine? It’s OK, we all do it…or maybe it’s just me :/ womp womp….

 

Plus, look what I found….if you’ve got empty Rx bottles laying around, here are some crafty ways to reuse and recycle those suckers. You’re welcome.

Posted in Confessions, My Life, Stuck-in-a-funk{y} Life | Tagged , , , , , | 9 Comments

My almost empty closet: aWEARness project update

Posted on May 3, 2013 by Amber

Two months ago I asked you to help me raise $800, enough to rescue two women off the streets in Ethiopia.

I told you that if I raised $800 by the end of March, I would clean out my closet to only 35 pieces.

35 items to wear for the next 365 days.

I called it my aWEARness Project. (Now I’m calling it crazy!)

One month ago, I was sitting at my computer completely overwhelmed…it wasn’t just $800. It was $1245!

1245

So…I did it.

Well actually, you did it.

Now what?

Well, after being in total denial that I was going to have to get rid of most of my clothes, I started thinking about how I was going to go about doing this.

I had big plans to form a little committee of friends to help me weed through my closet, take pictures, blog about the process, and blah blah blah. But reality is… it never happened. Obviously.

So Tuesday night (April 30th) at 9:30pm, I realized it was now or never. I had avoided the inevitable long enough. I had to make good on my word. I had to hold up my end of the deal.

With my mom and husband being the only ones awake, by default, they became my little council. So with them on the couch, I went into my closet and brought out my first batch of clothes.

At first, it was kinda fun.

And then an hour into it, it wasn’t so fun anymore.

At one point my husband popped some popcorn for him and my mom to enjoy during my emotionally draining endeavor. Apparently they thought this was entertaining. me? not so much.

But 5 giant garbage bags later, my closet is close to empty.

empty closet

(12 of the 35 pieces of clothes) 

It’s been two days into this and it feels kinda weird walking into my almost empty closet. I cried yesterday. Not because most of my clothes are gone, but because I can already tell that my choices were not too smart. I blame my husband and my mom. Mostly my husband. But we’ll get to that later….

Right now, I’ve got to go pack for a weekend trip. Oh wait, I hardly have any clothes, so really it should only take me a whopping 58 seconds to throw it into my suitcase. Awesome.

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Posted in aWEARness Project, My Life, Unconventional Life | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment